Pantry Raid
by PathBeater
Summary: Hawkeye and Thor's midnight snack run is foiled by the Tower's resident mom. Nice, fluffy one shot with a little Pepperony at the end.


Just a little slice of life one shot I wrote a while ago. I'd like to say it's set in between _The Avengers_ and _Avengers: Age of Ultron_ , when the team is still in Avengers Tower. Hope you enjoy it! Let the fluff commence.

I do not own or claim to own either of those movies or any of the characters in them because I'm too poor to sue Marvel on such charges as, "I shipped Pepperony and Clintasha and you soiled it." Even though Brutasha is sort of cute.

* * *

They were in the middle of raiding the pantry when a cough came from behind them. Thor and Clint quickly flipped around, only to fearfully meet the eyes of their greatest midnight snack adversary. "Umm…you aren't awake right now, this is only a dream," Clint whispered as he slowly removed his hand from the ceramic cookie jar. Thor nodded frantically, his cheeks stuffed with about four Pop-Tarts as he set the two Pop-Tart boxes back on the shelf.

"Clint, Thor, how many times have I told you two to stop sneaking in the kitchen and stealing food in the middle of the night?" Pepper asked airily.

"Many a time, Lady Stark," Thor answered nervously, his speech muffled by the sheer amount of Pop-Tarts still in his mouth.

"And have you listened to me yet?"

"No," Clint cringed.

"Did you think I wouldn't notice the absence of a substantial amount of junk food that you two were planning on stealing?"

"…no, Lady Stark."

"We had hoped you wouldn't," Clint answered.

"When Tony and Bruce stay up for late-night science projects, Tony always gets a bowl of M&M's and Bruce always gets two boxes of Junior Mints. Natasha prefers dark chocolate over milk chocolate, and she can't stand white chocolate. I get bags of soft caramel squares for Steve when I visit the drug store. Thor's favorite Pop-Tart flavor is blueberry and you love sour candy, but especially those sour gummy worms. Also, your favorite type of cookies are oatmeal, which is why you had to dig around in the cookie jar because it's an assorted batch and you've eaten most of the oatmeal already." The two men stared in disbelief at the petite strawberry-blond in front of them who had just listed everyone's favorite snack foods without missing a beat. "I may not be a superhero, but I know my stuff when it comes to cooking for you all. Now both of you off to bed, or I'll make you cook everyone's breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next month!"

"Yes, Lady Stark," Thor gulped, then grabbed Clint by the arm and dragged him away, both of them still gaping in disbelief.

"You know what, babe?" Tony's voice came from the kitchen entrance.

"What, Tony?" Pepper asked her husband tiredly.

"I think you do have a superpower," he replied, walking over to hug her around the waist and rest his chin on her shoulder. "Super mom power. How did you even know they were in the kitchen?"

"Unlike Clint, Thor is not good at sneaking," she said seriously, letting a tiny smile slip.

"And I didn't know you cared that much about all of our snack quirks," Tony said with hushed amazement. "I never noticed most of those before, but now that you've pointed them out they seem so obvious."

"So you've been standing there the whole time?"

"Yes, why?"

"You were coming upstairs for an M&M's refill, weren't you?"

"…I accidentally poured Skittles in with them when I ran out of the first box. But I hadn't had my evening coffee yet, so it's fine now."

"Where's the bowl?"

"I burned it. Specifically with a temporarily generated burst of plasma, but it's no biggie. It was just one of our plastic bowls, not a valuable one."

"Tony, what am I going to do with you?" Pepper groaned.

"Hopefully you'll keep me. Do we have any more M&M's?"

"I bought you three new boxes today."

"Do you understand how much I love you right now?"

"What, just right now?"

"Well, let me rephrase that. Do you understand how much I love you more than usual at this finite moment in time that will last until you tell me to go to bed?"

"Go to bed, Tony. You and Bruce need rest if you want to keep working tomorrow."

"Who needs sleep when you have M&M's, coffee, and science?" Tony complained and snuggled closer to her. "C'mon, Pep, just a few more hours?"

"To bed with you both," Pepper ordered firmly as she pulled herself out of her husband's grasp. "No more science for tonight."

"Can I at least have a cookie before I go?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No, Tony."

"Can't a man enjoy some sweets after eight o' clock in this place?!" he threw his hands up in exasperation.

"No. Now go to bed."

"You do realize we'll be sleeping in the same bed, right? You'll have to deal with me all night."

"I know. Now go to bed."

"Fine," Tony deadpanned. "I didn't want any of your cookies anyway."

"Okay, I'll remember to never make another batch for you, especially not the ones with M&M's in them."

"Pepper, I love you so much. Please don't leave me."

"I won't, you big dummy," Pepper replied jokingly. "Now let's go get Bruce and then we can get a good night's sleep together. Oh, and Thor?"

"…yes, Lady Stark?" Thor replied guiltily from behind her, removing his hand from the Pop-Tarts box.

"You can have some in the morning, but for now go to bed."

"Yes, Lady Stark. I bid you and your husband a good night," he rumbled, then started tiptoeing very obviously back to his room.

"Why did he address you as a lady and not address me as a lord?" Tony asked Pepper with a small frown.

"Maybe because he knows this is my area of rule," she answered as she gave him a peck on the cheek, and they walked back to their room together as Tony gave a little huff in annoyance.

"But I'm the one that upgraded that toaster so he could toast four at once!" Tony's complaint was quickly silenced by the bedroom door shutting with a click.


End file.
